Quotable

Sometimes patients say hilarious things. Sometimes the entertainment comes from somebody else on scene. The Asian had the misfortune to be the source of this story, and I will now tell it to anyone in the station who hasn't heard it - every time he gets on my case for something. Dirt is good.

On scene with PD and an extremely intoxicated "psych problem". Eventually we get the patient heading down the stairs, The Asian in front and me behind. On the way down, The Asian asks how much the patient has had to drink. Patient replies (every one in the field knows this answer!), "Two." "Two what? Beers? Cases?" PD comments that the patient prefers vodka. Patient answers, "Fifths."

Asian decides to be funny, "Two fifths?! Why didn't you just drink the whole thing?"

Upon realizing that he honestly doesn't realize that two fifths means two whole containers of vodka (The Asian doesn't drink), I try to contain my giggling while explaining what the patient meant. PD wasn't quite so polite at containing the guffaws. Later, I find myself additionally amused that my partner really thought the patient could do math in that intoxicated condition.