I'm at the office today. A real, honest-to-goodness, sitting at a desk, typing on the computer and meeting with people in conference rooms office. It is a shared "homeless" office, but still, an office. I haven't been here in quite some time. Usually when I have to come up, I stay long enough for a meeting or two and then zip back home. Today, I've been here all day. Almost like when I used to work here, except I'm wearing jeans and laughing and having fun.
It has been a good day to catch up with people I haven't talked to in a long time, and with the new year, a good time for everyone to reassess their projects and come up with a three-page to-do list for me. I don't mind though, it is better than trying to psychically determine what people want me to be doing on "their" time. Some folks here are still a bit freaked out at what might happen to their projects if I get in to medical school, some are just doing the finger-in-the-ear-la-la-la-I-can't-hear you routine. Both are fine because I don't have any answers.
With the recent rejection, I got thinking again about what I'm going to do with myself if plan A (go to med school in fall '07) doesn't work out. I don't currently have a plan B. I could stay on the ambulance and work from home. I could quit the work at home stuff and pull more ambulance hours and try and volunteer or get "leadership" experience for my med school apps for '08. I could figure out what I need to do to go to PA school instead which would probably involve re-taking a bunch of undergrad science pre-requisites. I could go back to just volunteering on the ambulance and try to find another office job closer to home. I don't think that last one is a good idea because I really am enjoying patient care and think it has contributed greatly to my day-to-day happiness.
I try not to think on it too hard because I don't want to make a difficult decision and then get in to med school after all and have wasted all that time and energy. This feeling is totally new to me though. Let it ride. Cross that bridge when you come to it. Don't worry about what you can't change. Hmmm, maybe getting older is good for something at least...