For some reason, February and I do not get along. I would like to think it is the cold or the dark, but December and January are darker and usually colder. I just find it very hard to deal with every day annoyances during this month, motivation is at a nadir, and pretty much I just don't wanna anything. This month was not improved by a visit to the PCP which reinforced the need to "lose weight" because the "trend" on her graph of my weight has been upwards the last three visits in a row, despite being an actual change of less than 5 lbs, and where she suggested cutting out all sweets and doing a better job of eating small meals throughout the day to manage my blood sugar. Nor by the cardiologist who assured me I was fine, 3 syncopal episodes in a year is nothing to worry about because there are people with "15 in a couple months" and I just have to cut way back on caffeine and drink lots more water.
(Side note: He actually suggested I drink 15 OUNCES of water when I have to get up in the middle of the night to do an ambulance call. I usually drink about 15 oz all day. If I implemented this suggestion literally, all I would do is pee at patient's houses. I'm not sure he was impressed when I laughed at his suggestion, said "Are you serious?" and laughed some more when he assured me he was serious.)
So, I get to hear how I suck at life at a point when I don't feel up to anything. For the record, all the medical suggestions are reasonable ones, just not ones I can handle very well right now.